Don't worry, Nana. I've got this. Zara took me to a
class," Marcus informed the nanny droid, as he attempted
to change Darrus' diaper. He had been at it for 45
minutes, but Darrus had yet to get his new diaper on. At
one point Marcus had somehow managed to put the diaper
on the boy's head, which caused the nanny droid no end
of consternation. "Hmm," he said, as he took a step back
to examine the problem. "Oh that's what's wrong," he
said, before diving back into the bassinet and
attempting to put the diaper on once again. This time,
he only managed to get half of his son in the diaper.
This was the biggest challenged since the two Barabel on
Ord Mantell. "Bring up the technical schematics," he
ordered the droid, as he was beginning to lose his
"There are no schematics, Duke Marcus. It is a
diaper. Not a space vessel," the Nanny droid replied in
a sassy manner as she watched the Duke fail at basic
parenting. "Oh just let me do it!" she said, sounding
flustered for a droid, as she began to spin around from
a surge of power from becoming fed up with how long this
was taking. It was then that her audio sensors heard the
sound of footsteps. "Milord, someone is coming. Given
the hour of the day and the volume of the footsteps I
would say there is 98.7 degree probability that it is
Duchess Zara," she warmed him, as her white
photoreceptors angled downed towards the half diapered
baby in the bassinet.
"You did such a good job, Sia!" Zara grinned at her
daughter as she made her way up the stairs leading to
their quarters. The little girl had her hands planted on
her mouth's chest. She was smiling brightly at one of
her father's three seeker droids, which she and her
mother had been doing some diagnostics on. "When you get
older, I'll teach you how to repair daddy's ship. I'll
have you fixing engines in not time." Zara made her way
into their room. She spotted Marcus and Nana. "Hiii."
The nanny droid seemed distressed. "What's going on
guys?" She strolled towards the bassinet where she found
her son half diapered. "Hi baby boy." She said, bending
down to kiss Darrus on the forehead. She turned to
Marcus. "Here Nana. Can you take Sia? I give you an A
for effort, my love. That baby class we took wasn't too
helpful when it comes to diapering. Baby Ithorian bodies
are wayyyy different than baby humans." When the droid
had taken her daughter, she moved to the side of the
bassinet where she would play teacher. "Okay, first step
of diapering...grab the diaper!"
"It was ... uh ... the droid ... might want to run a
diagnostic," Marcus said, as his cheeks reddened and he
became slightly embarrassed. Hearing this, the droid
turned, and bopped him on the back of the head with an
arm on the side of the body that was not holding Sia. "Ow!"
he said, as he began rubbing the back of his head.
"Can't we have a human nanny?" he muttered, as he threw
a sideways glance at the droid. "Alright. Alright," he
said, as he moved next to her, leaning over the bassinet
to look in on Darrus. He reached down, taking hold of
the diaper, and beginning to start again. "We'll get it
this time. I'm sure of it," he said, as he began messing
up already. "Ithorians don't look like this at all..."
he said, making excuses, before letting out a sigh.
Zara smiled knowingly. "Okay. I'll run a diagnostic."
She winked. There was nothing for him to be embarrassed
about. She giggled softly. Their nanny droid certainly
was feisty. "Nooo. No human nannies. I can't program
them. I'd have to install so many nanny cams around the
castle that I might as well bring in the ISB." She ran a
hand through Darrus' thickening dark hair. He reminded
her so much of Marcus. "Next, you grab Darrus by the
ankles and lift him up a little bit, then slid the back
part of the diaper underneath his cutie little booty."
She instructed. "I'm not great at this either, you know.
I haven't been able to consistently figure out how tight
to make the diaper at the waist. When I woke up with Sia
the other night, I didn't put the diaper on right, then
she peed... And I had to take a shower." Zara admitted
her own embarrassing story in attempts to make him feel
Suddenly a bomb went off. It was powerful and
threatened them all. It had been so long since Darrus'
diaper change began that another poop had just emerged,
thus negating all of Marcus' hard work. "Oh no! Oh no!"
he said, as he began to fan the air in front of his
face. "Maybe ... maybe I should let the droid do it," he
confided in Zara, as he took away the diaper with the
poop and brought it to the trash. "Wanna grab some
dinner?" he asked her, as he looked helplessly at his
wife from across the room whilst the droid went to work
properly putting the diaper on the boy within minutes.
"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!" The smell came first, then the
rest. Luckily, there had been a diaper there otherwise
the young prince would have made quite the mess. Zara
couldn't help but laugh. "That explains why you were
smiling so much." She told her son, poking his button
nose with her finger. "Okay, you're off diaper class for
now. I'll teach you later." She said, stepping aside to
let the nanny droid to her work. By the way Sia was
smiling, she wondered if another poop was on its way.
Her hand snuck into one of Marcus'. "That sounds fun.
Come on, hurry!" She said, pushing her husband out of
their room just as she heard the nanny droid confirm
that, indeed, Sia had pooped. Zara giggled on her way
down the stairs. "Crisis averted." She squeezed his
hand. "L-Let's stay away from Auntie Mae's tonight...
It's so weird that she's bothering us for a sex holovid."
"Aww. But Brad the Bantha said Prince Pollix punch is
a limited time only. I don't want to miss it," Marcus
said, as they scurried down the stairs, with Marcus
acting as young as Zara. As they moved through the
castle, he informed the guard to prepare their speeder.
They did not need protection now that the Empire had
driven the refugees off world. He led her out into the
speederport in front of the castle, where he helped her
get in the passenger compartment, before he circled
around to drive himself. "What are you in the mood for?"
he asked, as he drove them down the mountain pass to the
city of Leiliani. Suddenly a Gungan jumped out in front
of the speeder, which forced him to have to slam on the
breaks. He extended his arm in front of Zara to keep her
from flying forward. "Damn fool," he muttered, but soon
the Gungan was excitedly hopping up and down. As he
looked out the window he noticed they had arrived at the
Bombard Gungan restaurant which had a huge sign saying 'Wesa
Open'. "When in Coronet," he said, quoting the old
saying, before parking the speeder. "Let's try it. At
least we'll have a story, and they might be able to help
with our next crib," he said, as he raced around the
speeder to open the door and help her out.
"Oooh fine. We can go to Auntie Mae's. I gotta say..
That commercial for Prince Pollix punch is hilarious.
You brother really bad that guy up." Zara giggled. It
was one of the many highlights from their ball. She was
glad that they didn't need guards. After the problems
with cousin Gaius, the Alderaan guard had been left all
sorts of broken. Zara had combed through the lives of
those who remained to ensure herself that they weren't
going to go the way of Gaius. Ultimately, there was only
one person she was one-hundred percent sure always had
her and her children's best interest in mind: Marcus.
She quickly placed a kiss on her husband's lips before
making her way into the speeder. "Hmm... What are *you*
in the mood for?" Zara parroted back to him while
displaying her indecisiveness.
She stared out the speeder window as they headed into
the city. She was so pleased with all the changes to her
planet's environment. It was already infinitely
different than when she had first arrived on Delaya, and
the work wasn't finished. If only she could get the
eyesore that was the Imperial garrison out of the
All of a sudden, the speeder came to a fast stop.
"Eek!" She squeaked, grasping Marcus for support. "What
the heck was that?!" Her heart had officially relocated
to her throat. "A Gungan. Run it over!" Zara complained,
only being half-serious because it had scared her so
much. Her eyes followed his to the restaurant. Zara
laughed. "Okay, let's check it out. We could use the
help with our next crib..." She shuddered, recalling the
Gungan instructions that made her feel crazy as she
muddled through translating them. "I hope I don't
accidentally order a fish tank again." As she stepped
out of the speeder, she kissed him again. "If we get
sick from this place, I'm blaming you." She took his
hand and led him inside the Bombad Gungan restaurant.
The interior decor was something straight out of Otoh
Gunga. They found themselves standing in a bubble...one
of many that surrounded each table. There were lit up
tanks filled with fish native to Naboo and a sign that
bore the words '*Yousa pick it, wesa cook it*'. Zara
smiled. "This place is amazing already."
Doo-Doo Fast, the owner and operator of the Bombad
Gungan restaurant went crazy when he saw Duke and
Duchess Rodney enter his restaurant. Everyone knew what
their patronage did for Auntie Mae's, and he imaged his
restaurant becoming the culinary center of the core. He
ran towards Zara, his ears bouncing up and down, before
taking her hand and shaking it ugly. "Mesa glad to see
you. Mesa love you. Mesa called Doo-Doo Fast," he told
her, as his yellow eyes widened at the sight of her. "Yousa
doin a grand thing coming to eat here. Wesa gonna makin
you a bombad dinner. Yousa be seein," he said, as he led
them to a table in a center of the restaurant where
everyone could see that the Duke and Duchess were in
attendance. Unfortunately, the restaurant was
practically empty, as Imperials were prohibited from
dining at restaurants owned by non-Humans.
"Uh!" Zara shook the Gungan's hand back. Despite a
year in the limelight, she had never gotten used to
*everybody* knowing who she was. This Gungan was already
a fan...wait! Did he say his name was 'Doo-Doo Fast'?!
Zara wanted to laugh so bad. Mentally, she repeated the
name over and over again. Each time, it only sounded
more funny. Her cheeks were beginning to turn red. She
tried to hard to internalize it. "I-It's nice to meet
you, Doo-Doo." She showed him a smile that was her only
way to stop herself from losing composure. Her blue eyes
met with her husband's as she attempted to share the
mental joke with him. "Ooh. I'm so excited. Thank you."
She said, trying her best to act like the diplomat she
was instead of the teenager that she also was.
They were taken to a table inside of the biggest
bubble. If the restaurant had been crowded, it would
have been the place where their presence drew the most
attention. Instead, it was nearly empty. Zara was
certain that simply being here would change business for
Doo-Doo Fast. Once she was seated, she looked at
Doo-Doo. "What do you have to drink?" She asked him,
*still* trying not to laugh.
The moment the Gungan told him his name, Marcus was
forced to bite down on his lower lip to keep from
bursting out in laughter. Instead, he simply shook the
excitable Gungan restaurateur's hand, and began walking
with Zara to their table. He certainly hoped that his
name did not indicate what would they would experience
after the meal. As they moved into their table he looked
around, before taking a glance down at the menu.
"...probably just wter," he said to her, as he wondered
what he had gotten them into. "Do you see anything that
looks ... uh ... edible?" he said, but before he could
get another word in food was already being placed on the
table. It was entire platter of fish heads. Just the
heads. The waiter informed them they were being served a
Ten Course Tongue-grabben Feast. "Oh. How wonderful," he
said, as he looked across to Zara. Beneath the table he
began playing footsy with her to make up for the
"Umm..." Zara looked down at her menu. There were
some pictures. "Bongo bouillon soup... It looks
relatively safe. It's the only one where I know
everything that's in it. Ew!" She closed her menu
suddenly. There was a picture of a gross looking fish
dish. They'd never get the chance to order, because a
platter of fish heads had arrived. Zara stared down into
the blank eyes of the fish. "Aren't they. . . aren't
they supposed to remove those first?" She said quietly,
prodding the fish's mouth with her finger. She couldn't
help herself. She picked up one of the heads, forcing
the mouth to move. "Ohai Duke Rodney! Mesa Doo-Doo
Fast!" She said with a smile. She placed the fish head
down on the platter just as the waiter returned with a
neon green drink. "Oh, thank you so much." Zara said.
Her feet toyed with his beneath the table. She was
having fun with the strange restaurant, she simply
wasn't sure if they'd leave with full stomachs or not.
Or if this would be the first time they saw their dinner
tonight. She reached over to the cup. "Marcus... It's
smoking..." She said as white smoke poured out from the
top of the drink. She decided to be brave and took a
little gulp, then shrugged her shoulders. "It's actually
"It looks like they removed everything else. It's
like they followed the instructions backwards," Marcus
theorized, but while he was trying to understand it,
Zara was about to start playing with her food. "Oh don't
make me laugh," he said, as he brought the napkin up to
his face to prevent the Gungans from seeing that he was
laughing. They were all watching their every move,
counting on them to save their restaurant. For the sake
of the Gungans and being a good leader he ate one of the
fish heads, the bones crunching in his mouth. "Oh the
eye," he commented to Zara, before dabbing his lips. He
was just about to catch his breath when he saw the
strange drink she was about to consume. "No. Don't," he
pleaded, but he could stop her she was already sipping
it. Before he could react another course was being
served, which seemed to be some kind of eel soup. "Well,
how bad could soup be?" he asked, before sticking his
spoon in the soup. As he did the eel jumped out of the
bowl, landed on the floor, and began to slither away.
"Okay. Um," he said, as he took a cautious sip of his
Zara wore a bright smile on her lips. Marcus had been
born for this. She was a little savage. Somewhere, Livia
was rolling in her grave over Zara becoming Duchess. She
cautiously watched her husband eat a fish head. "Oh
Marcus... You are a brave, brave soul. I will take care
of you when you're sick later on." She promised,
reaching across the table to pat his hand supportively.
The next course came far too quickly. Zara was reminded
that this was a ten course meal. She looked down at the
soup, which was an interesting yellow color. "There's
going to be eight more courses. What can they possibly
feed us for eight more courses?!" Marcus took the hit
for the second time, but when his spoon met with the
soup, a live eel jumped out! "Woah!" Zara watched it
slither off. "Ewww. Okay. You took two hits for the
team, it's my turn." The third round arrived just as the
head of the eel in Zara's soup began poking out. The
next round was a fish that looked alike to an angler
fish. The body was perfectly intact, but the mouth was
wide open. It was stuffed with some mystery meat,
vegetables, and an array of other colorful edibles. Zara
whimpered softly. "Oh dear." She picked up her fork and
shoved it through the fish's jagged teeth and into the
mouth. She brought a tiny bite of the stuffing to her
lips and quickly ate it. "Oh dear..." She said, not
commenting about the flavor though it was obvious how
terrible it tasted.
"You promise? Don't let the nanny droid near me,"
Marcus said, as he leaned back and placed his hand on
his stomach. He was not sure if he was getting sick, or
if it was just Zara's comment that was having a mental
impact on him. "I don't think I can get through ten
courses of this," he said, as he reached across the
table to place his hand on Zara's. Suddenly an angler
fish arrived on the table ... a stuffed angler fish. He
grabbed hold of the fork and began probing the mouth,
going for some of the more simpler vegetables that he
might have recognized. Unexpectedly, as they picked away
at the fish dessert began to arrive. "Dessert? Already?"
he asked, hoping that it might indicate that the meal
was nearly over. Unfortunately, for this Gungan feast
dessert would be inexplicably served within the middle.
"I'll protect you from Nana." Zara said reassuringly.
A single bite was enough for her. She wasn't beginning
to feel full, her stomach simply rejected eating the
strange food presented to her. And then there was
dessert. "Sweets!" Zara exclaimed, acting quite like
Ewwiekewwieikkie. She attacked the dessert with renewed
gusto. However, she made the mistake of shoving a large
spoonful of the incredibly rich dessert. She could feel
all the sugar in the dessert on her tongue. She made a
noise and closed her eyes tight until she could swallow
it. She reached for his hand to stop him from making the
same mistake she had. "Don't do it, Marcus! It's not
worth it!" She held on to him. "You should tell the
owner that the meal was amazing and we're so full. I
don't want to see what else they are going to bring out.
They served us live eels. Live eels!"
Doo-Doo Fast returned to the table, but this time he
had a Gungan band with him. They were playing the worst
music that couple would have ever likely heard, but to
them it was wonderful. "Yousa enjoyin' the meal?" he
said, as he reached out to place a hand on each of their
shoulders. "Yousa maybe tellin' the Governor wesa stayin'
open?" he asked, as the purpose for his sending so much
food suddenly become clear. "Our bombad chef be workin'
hard to make'a yousa five more courses," he said,
excitedly, as he swayed to the music. "Yousa maybe not
bein' believin' what mesa sayin', but he never makin'
this meal before. Can you believe that?" he said, as he
slapped each of them on the shoulder.
Marcus was just about to sample the dessert when Zara
spared him, causing him to recoil his arm with the
spoon. He was just about to stand up when Doo-Doo
suddenly reappeared. It seemed whenever he least
expected it Doo-Doo snuck up on him. Doo-Doo had a way
of doing that. "Oh. It was wonderful, Mister Fast," he
said, as he leaned back and rubbed his belly. "But we're
not used to eating all of this delicious food. We are
positively full," he said, as he nodded to his wife. "We
can try the other five courses on our next visit," he
suggested, trying to be as diplomatic as possible.
Oh no! Doo-Doo Fast was coming back! Zara tried to
shrink into herself. She tried to disappear. She tried
to do anything to spare them from more time in this
crazy restaurant. The music was worse than the
slitherhorn Prince Pollix had been playing. "Oh yes.
Thank you, Mister Fast. The food has been amazing.
Please send my compliments back to the chef." She didn't
feel confident about what the state of their stomachs
would be like in a few hours, especially when Doo-Doo
revealed that the chef had never cooked this meal
before. "Gosh, I can't believe that at all!" She wiped
her mouth off and prepared to make a run for it. She
nodded in agreement with her husband. "Yes, yes. We'll
have to pick up our last courses next time." She stood
up, grasping his hand. The door was in her line of
vision. They could make it there... They *had* to make
Before Zara could react the young Dee-Mee Foost was
climbing up onto her lap having arrived for nowhere. "It
is yousa!" she said, as the young Gungan child stood up
on her lap. "Mesa needin' a picture with yousa, okeyday,"
she said, as she turned, so that she was facing the same
direction of Zara, with one foot on each of her thighs.
She smiled happily as the other Gungans took holovids of
the young girl standing on the Duchess. "Yay!" she said,
as she turned around and gave Zara and a hug and kiss,
before settling down on her lap. "Lookit dat!" she said,
as, without being asked she began attempting to eat the
dessert that Marcus and Zara were content to let go to
The Gungan child had come out of nowhere, prompting
Zara to wonder if the child had been hiding underneath
the table all along. Her target demographic was young
children so Zara was glad to see the little girl. "Um,
okeyday." Zara said, placing her hands on the child to
support her so she wouldn't fall. It made her think of
all the Ithorians at the medcenter on Jubilee, which she
had continued to visit since they were taking care of
Delaya. "Careful..." She warned. She smiled while
Gungans took holovids of the two together. Zara gave the
Gungan girl a hug. It seemed she and Marcus had become a
party of three for now. "You can eat as much as you'd
like." Zara said, giving the girl a clean spoon. "What's
your name?" She asked. She was still smiling behind the
girl. Since the twins had arrived, Zara had become quite
No one needed to tell Dee-Mee Foost that she could
eat as much as she liked, because she was already eating
way too much. She turned around with a face messy with
dessert, as she offered her spoon up towards Zara's
mouth. "Mesa called Dee-Mee Foost. Yousa bombard
Duchess. Mesa love you," she said, as she attempted to
force feed Zara some of the dessert. She thought she was
helping, which made her smile as big as possible.
Already the sugar was beginning to flow through her,
causing her to shake excited on top of her. "Om nom
nom," she said, before settling back down on Zara's lap.
Marcus looked across at Zara as the Gungan came to
dominate her, and suddenly he was reminded of his
sister-in-law and the Squib. Everywhere the his family
went they seemed to encounter children of every species.
When the bill came he was astonished to see it was for
874 credits, which made him cough noticeably. His hand
shaking he moved to take hold of the glass of water,
sipping it slowly. It was *a lot* of money and they had
not even ordered it, nor was half of it served, nor did
they eat much of what *was* served. However, as he
looked over towards Doo-Doo he could not bring himself
to protest the bill. Instead, he simply put the credit
shit down and vowed never to come again. Unfortunately,
if there were cute children here it would be hard to
keep Zara away.
There was no objecting to the little Gungan. Zara
allowed the girl to force feed her. She was having a
year's worth of sugar at a single sitting. It was even
harder to keep a straight face with so many people
watching. She was touched that Dee-Mee proclaimed to
love her. Zara loved the children. The younger audience
perceived her well, for they didn't know about that
fateful day on the Sea Islands. There was a noticeable
shaking from the Gungan that made Zara wonder if the
little girl was going to explode. "It's nice to meet
you, Dee-Mee. Let's be friends." She grinned, hugging
the girl another time. She looked above her head to see
Marcus viewing the bill. She wondered how much it was,
as any price more than 20 credits was too much. She
could see Doo-Doo taking care of the bill. As much as
she liked Dee-Mee, she didn't know if that was enough to
eat such terrible rancid food. The girl did make her
think of her brother-in-law's adopted Squibs. She needed
to take them here to consume the sugary dessert and play
With the dinner damaging his bank account as much as
his stomach it was time to say goodbye to Doo-Doo and
Dee-Mee, as hard as that was. "Come Zara," we need to be
going, he said, as he helped the little Gungan girl off
Zara's lap and onto the table so that she could more
easily access the dessert. But as they exited the
restaurant they came into contact with a squad of
Imperial Stormtroopers. "This structure is to be closed
by order of Governor Arundel," the squad leader rudely
informed Marcus and Zara as if they had no title
whatsoever. As they pressed past the Duke and Duchess
they began to forcibly close the restaurant, clearing
the remaining patrons, and putting up signs that
indicated it was closed by Imperial decree. "What is the
meaning of this?" he demanded, as he did not want to see
this happen to the Gungans, despite their awful food.
"Failure to pay Imperial taxes. Clear the area. Move
along, move along," he ordered them, as he raised his
E-11 blaster rifle in their direction. Not wanting to
risk Zara being shot, he quickly led her towards their
speeder. The battle was with the Governor, not these
troopers. Nothing could be accomplished here.
"Okay, Dee-Mee. I've gotta get going. I'll see you
around." As Zara stood, she patted the top of the girl's
head. The meal certainly wasn't worth the credits, but
the company was. Zara wasn't ready for the sight of
Stormtroopers outside the restaurant. Their armor
gleamed in the sun. She let out an audible groan. It
seemed Papius was feeling better and back to his
sinister ways. "What are you doing?!" The wild side of
her wanted to strange all the Stormtroopers and take
Governor Papius' stupid garrison and burn it to the
ground. She was growing more and more tired of their
planet's Imperial occupation. At the same time, she was
doing everything she could to keep her family safe. She
frowned, watching the Stormtroopers close the
restaurant. She looked distraught. Governor Arundel had
won time and time again. This time, she wanted to do
something. She had to be led back to the speeder to stop
her from doing something stupid on the spot. Once they
had drove off, Zara sighed. "It's time for a change."